Dreams

That confuse, that make you cry, that excite.

I find that most of my dreams have to do with water or falling. Like one time I dreamt that the slopes in the carpark became extremely steep and I was sliding on a never ending slope. It was so vivid I could feel my nails desperately scrapping the carved rings on the concrete. Tis no wonder I have a fear of heights :S

-

Cold water.

Honey coloured skin.
Blonde hair.
A warm chest.

How much I desire to have seen your face.

I can only dream of my saviour.

Puff Puff Baby

It came to mind when I woke up today. About what woman and I discussed during our alone time in the chalet lobby.

Smoking.

We talked about why our friends smoke.

And how come we don’t really do a damn thing to stop them?

Is ‘they have to live their own life/decide for themselves’ a good enough excuse not to do anything?

I’m pathetic as well.

Always saying I’ll break those damn sticks but I don’t do it cause I don’t want my friends to get mad at me.

I stared at Scott when I saw the unlighted cigarette stick in his hand.

When I stared he was like: C’mon la Annabel you know I’ve smoked for how long already.

Truthfully I didn’t know.

I wasn’t shocked either. But it sucks to expect your friends to smoke.

I’m an utter failure.

I can’t even get one of my closest sisters to stop puffing them fucking sticks.

UGH.

And I Realise It’s Been A Long Time

And that many of you probably think this blog is dead. It is not I assure you.

I need/want/need/want/need/want/need/want/need/want/need/want/need/want/need/want to dye my hair.

Burgundy/Fuchsia?

If I can’t make up my damn mind I’d just leave it black really.

Even the hairdresser keeps asking me when I wanna dye my hair.

LOL. ROFL. LMAO.

I need to go shopping with Zannah one day to understand what’s so great about it.

This is turning into a to-do list.

I am worried, yet resolute.

Plenty going through my mind now, but I’m enjoying doing nothing.

If only all of my days were like this.

I know they say you’d get sick of holidays and holidays and holidays.

But I love the feeling of nothing. If I didn’t need to eat to survive, I’d lie in bed all day and watch the sky turn colour.

I adore the cold mornings after a night of rain.

The sun peeking through the clouds at 7:20am in the morning. [Sorry for not waking you up Andrew!]

Your Love For Me Peeking Through The Sky.

I marvelled at your love, your brilliant love that you showed when I felt so low.

This was the ‘It’s Going To Be Ok’ that I was seeking.

From You.

And you’re just like you always are.

Always there.

I Love You God.